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†Melancholic Beauty†

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67 weeks since last i posted.... wow. [
Monday.October 1st.2007]
[ mood | beat ]

alright.. it's been 15.40848966883 months... or.. a little over a year since last i've done this.. .

well, the past year.. i worked at a porn shop for a year... was assistant manager.. not bad.... i enjoyed it... kinda wanna get back in it.. hehe porn.
there i met my friend nicole. she was working there... i trained her... she was a good employee... she quit after we got robbed at "gunpoint" the first time... we stayed friends.... and still are today...

briefly, i moved to las vegas, nv.
it's nice. hot. dry. you can go to a bar and order a drink at whatever time you feel like drinking... which is a bonus. no such thing as "last call".
while i was living down there, i met good people. did some networking.. and realized, that my life long goal is to do art. nothing else.. my good friend lisa, an art dealer, really got my wheels cranking... i need school. so i'm working towards it.
i was there for about 5 mnths... came back to rochester... why? who fucking knows.

all i knew is that i needed to regroup. get my thoughts in order... set a goal... and get shit cranking..
currently, i'm working on getting my portfolio together... better late than never, right?

i can't believe it's already been 4 yrs since last i was in school. i can't believe it's been over a year i haven't posted....
i feel like i'm ready to learn. like, i'm open to fill my brain with useless shit... solely, to get to my goals...

i haven't posted in a while....
1. out of pure lazyness.
2. random people are reading it.. and at some points, i didn't want people to know what was going through my mind...
3. whenever i had the chance to do so, i hadn't much to say... so i'd postpone it even further...

i knew a lot of people..
many i don't talk to anymore... not by my own doing, per say.. simply, distances... time...
i'm not lonely... not entirely displeased with the world, or how things have come to be...

i feel i'm finally nearing myself. i lost myself somewhere between here and there... and i sense i'm closer to the person i'm meant to be... than before...
i'm not all disheveled and out of focus... i guess that's what it was...

not being entirely with yourself could make a person distance themselves from others... i just needed to, once again, pick up the remnants of what i knew of myself.. drop the bullshit i picked up along the way... and put together what it is i had left, and add what felt right... now, by my own doing.. not by chance.

all in all... i'm doing well. at least, i'm put together. a little. haha

i'm not even sure who would bother to read this anyways.. i'm not saying nobody loves me.. for, all i need is to love me.... i'm just saying that i haven't seen/heard/talked to anybody... and even though it may suck.. it's still good.

well, i'm off.


ps:tangent: i came up with a theory about the universe... remind me to explain it to you sometime.


wannabe... wannabe me... [
Wednesday.February 15th.2006]
[ mood | annoyed ]

i have something to say today...

i work hard for my style. it's all about me.. and i like it. i'm confortable.. and i feel like it's my own. i truely do.
but sometimes, i'll find someone who will try to be me.. i went through it in high school.. and i thought i'd be done with that.
but no.

there's some silly queen walking around rochester trying to be me. ewe!
first time i saw this guy, he was some queer nerd. the only reason i noticed him was because he was such a flame, and the bitch needed a twinky or two.. cuz she was skinneeeee.
anywho, i'm always around town. trooping here and there.. it's a good time. and every once in a while, i'd see him... ewe. every time i saw him, he'd give me a dirty look.. probably cuz, i'm WAY cuter.. hahaha
well, i saw him on-line a couple times... on gay.com (it's the hottest g. spot ever).. and i noticed that his style has slowly changed.. from nerd to me in like a month's time. the worst part of it all is that now he's trying to sport a swoop like mine.. on the same side even.. but his hair's way too short for it, so he looks retarded... my bangs are touching the tip of my nose.. his was touching the half-way on his forehead...

i don't know.. it bothers me mostly because i work hard to have my own style, per say. i don't look at a magazine, or the tv, and think, "hey, maybe i can pull that off." no. my style comes from ME.. not someone else.. and i think everyone should find their own style.. and i know he's trying to be me.. but he always looks at me when i see him.. so i KNOW he's hating on my style..

sorry.. total rant...


last night i came to a spiritual realization..
ancient egyptian's religion is very much like christianity..
when you break it down.. there's three parts to the egyptian sun god. there's the male, the female, and the spirit.
christianity has father, SON, holy spirit.. how do you end up with a son, without a mother?
i'm gonna tell you why.. because mother and father had a baby.. it happened with the egytians.. and christianity did it for the sake of the people. people believe in a holy trinity. the power of three.
and, essencially, the holy trinity is one entity, God.
the egyptian trifecta is, in essence, one. Ra.

and that's all.


so this is love. [
Wednesday.February 15th.2006]
[ mood | blah ]

you know.. i was really in the mood to post..
and then.. i lost the mood..
so.... here's my half-assed entry.




shoot my in the forehead. [
Sunday.February 12th.2006]
[ mood | cynical ]

it's cold outside..
i don't feel like moving..


ew. i went to the club last night.. it's some new club called "tilt" that just opened up here in rochester... i was really pissed because they had "special" going on.. it's 10$ for under, 2$ for over.. does that sound retarded to you as much as it does me? there's an 8$ difference between tickets.. and it's not nice.. but that's not even the worst part.. not only did i pay 10$ to get in, but the music was ass. they were playing some shitty new-age techno bullshit for hours.. and i was going insane.. i wanted to dance and shake my ass.. but no. i only danced to one song, and that was because i requested it.. otherwise, ALL the songs would've been shitty. blah.

today i supposed to go to the mall.. change of plans.. i stayed home.. it was great fun.

tonight, i'm gonna pack up whatever i have left about.. and tommorow morn i move.
fun fun.

i realized today that for the amount of music i currently have on my computer, i really don't feel like listening to any of it..
you'd think that having 10GB worth of music, i'd have something fun to tweedle my brain stems with.. nope.

speaking of gigg's and shit.. my mom bought herself a laptop. i don't know why. she's computer illiterate.. i think she just wants to see me more often.. having a computer gives her an excuse to ask me to come over..
maybe not.

i missed american idol all last week.. i think.. so i'm a little sad inside... that is, if i really did miss them.. i don't quite recall. but i'm sure i did.

i'm gonna have to cut down on some habits.. maybe my memory will return..
probably not.
the deed is done, no?

i found a pair of pants i've always wanted at wal-mart.
they were 7$. i was excited i had the money.
now i'm excited i have the pants.

i bought my mom a honkey candle for v-day. it has four wicks. it's as big as a baby. and it was only 7$.
woo for being a cheap ass.

my boyfriend ain't getting shit for v-day.

i'm not getting a damn thing from my boyfriend on v-day.

who invented v-day? hallmark?
it's a silly holiday anyways. psshtt.

i wish i had a cat.
i wish that if i had a cat, it would talk.
that would just be grand.

i want a cigarette... hold on..



it feels like i live in a crack house...
my bed's on the floor. there's nothing on the walls. i have one lamp in the room.. and there's bags and boxes all over my house.

my roommate asked me to make a rope out of his bodyhair yesterday.
i almost puked. never again do i want to hear those words come out of anybody.
true story.

i got up early today for nothing.
tommorow, i have to do the same.

i got these new headphone things.. they amaze me a little.
i can use 'em on my mp3 player.. as well as use them to talk on my celly hands-free.
isn't it amazing? ok. maybe not. but it's nifty.

i'm done randomly rambling..

alright.. i lied.

tommorow i want to call around to see what doctor around here takes my insurance.
damn you obscure health insurance. damn you.

my hands hurt. my knees hurt. my back hurts.
i'm going to end up a giant atrophy by the time i'm 25.

my friend needed some sort of doctor's note the other day for something or other... in the note the doctor described her series of illnesses as "morbidities"
we were so stunned at the word, we had to look it.
who the fuck uses "morbidities" as a common english word? eh?

my phone's a piece of shit. i recommend never to get cingular. though, you will usually have reception anywhere, it doesn't mean your phone will agree with that. i've gone through 7 different cellphones in the past year. they all worked like shit.. and all ended up with some unexplained fucked-upness.
just say no.
maybe i'll go get a new one tommorow. cingular representatives know me by name now. it's sick.

what i really want to do is go shopping for new clothes.. it always makes me feel better to spend money for some reason.. one of these days i'll end up on dr.phil.

i can't find the usb connector for my mp3 player.. i feel like i have the same cd playing over and over and over again.. and it's not even a cd. grr. i'll probably find it once i go through all my shit after i move and start unpacking shit.

i would much rather be moving to nebraska than have to move within the rochester city limits.
shoot me now.

jesus... my face hurts..
i had a couple drinks last night.. but not enough to have a hangover.. maybe the pain comes from some other external source.. hmm..
most likely not. but it sounds like fun.

i need to stop typing before my fingers fall off.
my hands hurt like a motherfucker.



this the real shit.. man. [
Friday.February 10th.2006]
[ mood | drained ]

i told ya'll i'd post again last time i posted.. well.. i suck.. so, better late than never..

i was looking at everyone's posts.. and one of them triggered a little memory from about a week or two ago?

well, it all started when my friend chelene's girlfriend, heather, went to work. she works the late shift.. and me, sheen (chelene), and mike (my man) were all too bored so we decided to walk to avenue... we walked around, made it to josh's house (sheen's brother).. we chilled.. and got bored.. decided to go to the local cemetery.. we walk there... chill.. it was kinda creepy... the whole time we were there we felt something following us.. but we couldn't figure out what it was.... so we walk around.. go up the paved road and i look down the side of the hill, and i see this white female figure peaking from behind a tree. i asked mike if he saw her... he didn't. i asked josh...he totally saw her.. and he described her the same way. other than that.. nothing really good happened.. until we were about to leave.. i dropped my cigarette on the pavement, and i stepped on it.. kept walking.. looked back... and i could see the cherry of my smoke move down the pavement and go up in the air.. i almost shit my panties... and i left.. i looked at the clock when i was at the entrance of the cemetery.... and i looked at the time.. it was 12:01am. scary.

tonight, i spent most of it talking to my roommate and his girlfriend. it all started right after i began to type this entry.. we started talking about various things related to sex.. you know, the usual.. everyone talks about sex..

then i was telling them about the ghost i saw at Mt.Hope Cemetery.and we got into a whole spiritual talk.
most of it was me teaching them a little of this and that... a little mythology.. a little ritual.... a speck of chakras.. and a pinch of tarot.

there's something about magic.
something so pure and yet tainted.

they're just learning.. and they're trying to grasp as much as they could.. funny thing is that i'm moving next week.
my roommate's girlfriend told me that it was a shame that i just started teaching them when i'm a step away from moving out.
my response, of course, was, "well, i see it as starting you off on the right foot."
there's so much information out there about magic.
and most of it is a bunch of shit that people decided was "true."

first thing i told them was: "magic is inate. it comes from within. you'll know what's right for you. you'll just feel it"
i showed them how to open their third eye.
the first one to see something was her. she saw my cat. Sekhmet. Sekhmet was just doing her rounds around my room, as per usual, and she caught a glimpse of her...
at first she thought she was crazy.. then her boyfriend saw her run down the hall at the same time his girlfriend did.. they just looked at each other.. it was funny.

she asked me a question that i wasn't really expecting for her to ask... she didn't know which god to pick for herself.
my answer, "you don't pick your god. your god picks you."
i didn't choose Sekhmet as my goddess... she was put in my hands to care for.

mike had a statue on his alter of Sekhmet next to a statue of Horus. one day, Sekhmet fell off the alter.. Horus pushed her off His alter. mike knew she had to come with me. and ever since, she's been roaming my house.. and taking care of what she can.. it's weird. sometimes i can feel her just laying next to me while i sleep. cats are funny.

i pretty much have everything of mine packed. Sekhmet was packed too.
funny thing was my roommate kept hearing someone walk around in the living room.. he was thinking it was someone upstairs.. but he didn't believe it.. then, a couple days ago, one of his fish died.. i didn't know until i asked him today.. Sekhmet was hungry.

totally off the subject.
i got my period like two days ago. and i was really mad because i had the worse cramps on earth. it was one of those cramps that make your legs go numb... and the pain was unbearable.. all i wanted was some midol.. it never happened.. .. and to top it off, my boyfriend didn't even get me any chocolate.. oooh.. he's gonna pay for that. mwahaha.

i started this post at like eleven.. it's now past three.
i'm going to bed... before i keel.


tangent: i betcha you can't lick your elbow...... i can!!


goddamn. [
Thursday.February 2nd.2006]
[ mood | melancholy ]

i've been a slacker... i haven't been on-line in like months.. i just checked my mail and i had over a 1000 emails.. and i just finished checking them....

*dev*, sorry for disappearing.. .. i've just been in one of them moods.. but i haven't forgotten about you..

let's see... many months have passed since my last update.. so let me let all ya'll know what's going on..

umm, x-mas was alright.. i was drunk for new years.. and ummm... yeah..

you know what.. i'm really not in a mouthy/talky mood... so i'll update later on tonight.. .. K?


slacker i am. [
Friday.November 25th.2005]
[ mood | meh ]

hopefully, everyone had a fab turkey day...

mine wasn't bad.
i'm down in cleveland, OH... visiting family and such.. snow is "ridiculous"... ridiculous being the key word of the week. my fam is nuts. true story. all we've been doing since monday is coin phrases, get a little nostalgic, and laugh and laugh and laugh. we've been playing cards, making a fucking turkey that was the biggest hastle ever..
let me tell you.. my grandmama is nuts. she pulled that turkey out every other day for a week.. makes my cousint season it.. but because my cousint took twenty minutes to get to her house, she did it herself.. then, we had to make "mofongo".. it's the puertorrican stuffin'.. and my cousint doesn't know how to make it, so my grandmama was mad.. my aunt made it.. that became a huge joke.. then, trying to get it from point A to point B, my mom had to stick it in the trunk of a car... well, it was quite windy, and my mom was being blown away with the damn turkey, so she swooped the damn turkey in the air, and *swat* IN the trunk it went.. poor turkey.
it made it alright.. and i think it made the turkey that much better..

anyways, i'm going nuts..
i've been at my aunt's house since monday, and i'm ready to kill every single one of them.. it's crazy.. i leave for home tommorow morn.. and it's a great time...
don't get me wrong, i love my fam.. but too much of fam is too much of fam. period.

as soon as i get back, i'm going to bed, because i have to work sunday morn.. which was not in my beginning plan.

on my way to cleveland, my phone rings.. work calls me and asks when i'm getting back because they were wondering if i could come in on sunday.... i haven't even gotten to cleveland and they're already planning when i get back. it's great. i said hell yeah.. money is money... so yeah.

anywho, you kids have fun.. i'm out.



splattering Le tT Eri ng.... [
Monday.November 7th.2005]
[ mood | bored ]

why can't little paint projects ever be neat?
i got this star-shaped box thing.. and i wanted to paint it.. so i pull out the paint and shit.. and i painted it.
but of course, along the way of painting it i had to, of course, pour paint on my jeans and splatter my hands and, amazingly, my face.
i got paint on my jeans while trying to open one of the paints.. (at least is was dark green.. and my jeans had a green "hue". .whatever)... of course. i had to paint the rest of myself while i was at it. ... now, i'm all around White. it's exciting.

anywho.. it's been fun..
i started work.. it was pretty weird.. the first night was swell... and blah blah blah... it was a first day at work. they're all the same.
also, i'm not sure i get the right impression from my boss.. she seems nice.. but there's this side of her that i know i will hate.. and will drive me insane.. hahahahahahaha.. oh i'm psychotic...

oh, that reminds me.. i was watching house of a thousand corpses the other night.. oh it was splendid. great fun indeed. i couldn't stop laughing... i mean.. *cough*shit*cough*.. it was horrable and dispicable.. and creapy.
whatever... it was fucking amazing.. that bitch.. all she did was fucking giggle through the whole movie.. and kill people. it was great..
it was more like the twisted reality of the True Holloween Town... if holloween town really exsisted -anywhere- it would be more like house of a thousand corpses anyway... so yeah.
my friends thought i was pretty sick when everytime they looked at me during the movie.. i had a smile on my face.
am i really sick? maybe they're really sick? yeah. how about that?
psychology 101... *chuckle*

overall.. i had a pretty *meh* weekend.. i had a shitty saturday.. and boring sunday.. friday was alright.. but that was days ago.. and i don't remember.. hmmm.. oh yeah... *remembers about friday night* hehehehe
ooohhh.. yeah... let's not go to friday night.. so umm, yeah.. tommorow might be fun.

i have nothing planned.. but something will happen.. it's monday.
*prays for fun tommorow*

in other news.. the sky's really gonna fall this time.
-i heard chicken little was good.... i'm still never gonna watch it.
-i'm really mad that i couldn't get to see Saw II when it came out..
-now i'm mad again. hmph.

anyways.. i need to quit my ramble bamble..

you know what's really fucked up?
my mind works like that..
i just fucking... juffle fluffle some shit in there.. and pop-em out when best suited.
i really don't remember much of anything..

have you ever forgotten you own name?
i have.
oh yeah.. memory... it takes me months to remember people's names... i remember meeting the same person 5 times before i could remember his name... he was cute.. i can't remember his name.. pity.

incents rock my socks.
(i almost typed incest out of seeming habit... but it's really not. meh.)

i've been reading mangas lately.. it's weird. it's like a comic book.. but with better looking cartoons.. i don't know.. i'm reading this one right now called "desire".. it's queer.. well..... yes. it's queer.

well, i'm bored.. i think i 'm going to bed.. .. ..


edit: side note
i went to read what i wrote to make sure it made sense. and i read the title "splattering Le tT Eri ng...." it was perfect. because, the whole entry started off pretty coherant.. the rest got all jumbled, and ended with a lot of "..."'s. but i wrote the title before the entry was written.. so it makes it cooler. whatev.


the devil has recruited a new cohort. [
Friday.October 28th.2005]
[ mood | giddy ]

yeah.. hallmark hired me.. it was funny.. i was there like 5 minutes early.. the assistant manager saw me, shook my hand.. five minutes later, i was part of the great crew of hallmark.
there were two funny things..
1. when she asked me i was still interested, after i said yeah, she said, "good. because i had a couple girls threaten to leave if i didn't hire you." i'm telling you, i don't remember more than two girls seeing me.. so yeah..
2. my name was already on the schedule when she went to write me in.. that was great fun.

after that... i came home and went to bed.. holy shit.. it felt good to sleep.. too bad i had like a gazillion phone calls while napping... so, at like 9, i finally get woken up by my friend boner.. she scoops me up and sequesters me to hamlin.. there we had a jolly great time.

now, i'm tryng to get all my holloweenie things together.. i have to roll.




what an agravated day. [
Wednesday.October 26th.2005]
[ mood | aggravated ]

today was one of those days where you wish you had a shot gun attached to arms at all times.

first, i had to bitch at my roommate.. oh, i'm so passive aggressive.. wanna know how i did it? post-its!!!
yeah. i pulled out my pack of post-its and i went to town.. i wrote on one of them, "silverwear with food still on them sitting on table= gross" and i placed it right next to the silverwear on the table that had food from his last diner. ewe. it's gross. don't ever live with a straight man... you'll wanna shoot him in the face. i put a bunch of post-it's all over the house right where the things that caused me nausea were.
miraculously, it worked. i knew post-its wouldn't let me down.

then, my friend was gonna pick me up to go hang out and be stupid at like 7 something.. she calls me at quarter to 8 telling me she didn't forget about me, and that she was on her way. not five minutes later, another of my friends was like, "well, chelene forgot to pick you up...." alright.. whatever.. then.. at like 8:20, i call her back... she hasn't even left yet. wonderfull. i probably waited until like 9.. then i was like "whatever".. and pissed off. i got dressed, shaved, put make-up on.. thinking i'm gonna do something.. anything.. but no.. she magically appears at my house at like 10:30..... ready to pick me up.. i was heated.. .. her girlfriend was heated too.. she tought she would be at my house an hour before that.. but it didn't happen.. women.

shortly after that.. we drove around... got to my friend's house.. after like 10-15 minutes, everybody decided to go to bed.. so, she and her girlfriend took me home.. on the way to my house more agravation happens..

she tries talking to her girlfriend who apparantly has been having quite the day, and her girlfriend pulls one of those, "i can't hear you" shit, by blasting the radio.. chelene turned it down.. her girlfriend turned it up.. chelene turned out down.. girlfriend turns it up..

how childish can grown women get?

anyways, i get home.... now quite agravated by kiddish behavior.. and my roommate just thinks that i'm here for him to blabber my ear off... all i wanted to do was grab something to eat and fucking go to bed.. but no.. he just wants to blah blah blah in my ear.. ... after taking his mah mah for too long, i get up.. try to get something to eat.. of course, he has to automatically think, "i'm really hungry", so now we're bumping elbows in the kitchen.. and his face is all over whatever i'm trying to make because he's "really hungry".. finally, i'm out of the kitchen.. i'm telling you i couldn't move any faster if i could while going from the kitchen to my room.. just to get away from him... ... rahr.

i'm munching.. *crunch crunch*... .. i'm thirsty... i go to the kitchen.. "ooh, frozen fruit juice from concentrate!" i love grape juice.. so i start making it... he hears me in the kitchen... so he has to see what i'm doing, just in case it's more food....
while attempting to prepare the said juice, he goes, "blah blah blah... i really don't like grape juice."
i'm done making it.. i start to pour myself a glass... i hear, "can i have some?"
not two minutes earlier he had already told me he didn't like grape juice.. . .. but of course.. he had to have some anyways..

alright, so i grab a glass of juice.. go to my room... and i think to myself, "oh yeah.. new layout time"
so i started to make a layout... and i decided to attempt on image-mapping.. i know how it works pretty much.. but it wasn't working out.. rather than get any more agravated.. i switched all together, and made a totally different layout.. meh. i'm happy with it...
it's funny, my screen resolution is 1440x900.. i make my layouts 800x600.. i don't like my windows to overtake my screen... i do many things at once to handle that.. always having at least two or three different windows open keeps me happy with smaller windows...

my friend mike came over my house the other day... i was so fucking embarassed.... my roommate was here with his girlfriend, older brother, younger brother, and random cousin.. oh my goodness.. let me just give you a mental image.. my roommate looks like gimley, from LOTR, except with black hair, and a shorter beard. both his brothers look just like him.. except his older brother is really really really big, and breaths really really heavy.. and falls asleep all the time.. his cousin, on the other hand, looks like a leprachaun.. but 5'6" tall.. his girlfriend is a nice girl.. but, she's another gimley... and the taller of the group...

anyways, mike comes in.. sees how disgusting straight men live.. runs to my room.... now he understands how crazy my house can be.. brr... so he's all of a sudden calling me more often trying to get me out my house.. with good reason...

well, when he came over, we wre going to a hand-fasting.. it's like a pagan wedding ceremony.. i had never been to one.. but it was fun as hell.. the ceremony it self had me in tears.. i was crying like a little girl.. tissue boxes were floating around because everyone was on the same page... ...

wow, i can't believe i forgot to tell you guys about it.. hmph.

i don't know.. the hand-fasting made me feel very happy for the couple for whom the ceremony was for.. but on the other hand, it just made me think about how shitty it is to love without being loved.... hmph.. true story..
i'll stop there.. i don't to wander about things that will just deteriorate my mood even more..

so 'nuf for today...
good nite.. and farewell.



meh. [
Tuesday.October 18th.2005]
[ mood | artistic ]

let's see.... this week's been rather random.. as every other week.

i've been working.. being nerdy.. and doing much of nothing..

but i had some fun along the way.. i have to quit drinking. HAHAHAHA

i've been drawing like a mutherfucker, actually. and i've been reading a pretty good book.... it's called the phonix.. it's about this young boy in england 100 years ago. he has a twin.. and his father is a drunk.. and beats him all the time.. his dad also beats his mother, and his twin brother.. eventually, the dad beats his brother down so bad that his brother dies.. he kills his dad, and flees.. it's very traumatic.. and story is very good.. the writing style isn't my choice of style to read.. but the story took me by surprise.. now i have to finish.. i'm half way through it.. but i can't tell you much about it.. you have to read it.. it's writen by ruth sims.. it's a good read. i recomend it to everyone.

so yeah. here are some of my doodles.. i don't know.. but be careful..

[ +4 ]Collapse )


Tuesday.October 11th.2005]
[ mood | mischievous ]

Insanity Test
Your problem is ...Well what ISN'T your problem?
Will you ever be cured? (8) - Outlook good. - (8)
Just how crazy are you? - 40%
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random friends entry.. [
Tuesday.October 11th.2005]
[ mood | meh ]

alrighty.. .. this is for all of you who are reading this..

if you're reading this.. and i haven't added you as a friend... let me know..
most people i don't have added is because most people either
a)don't care.
b)i don't know if they still write in their lj..

so let me know if you wanna be added...
and my bad if i haven't added you.
i'm a jackass.


random writings.. . [
Sunday.October 9th.2005]
alright.. so i've spent the day today cleaning my room.... while cleaning i found some of my old writings.. and i thouoght i'd post it..

i haven't even read it yet.. and i wrote it like 7 years ago.. so yeah..

life is but a journey
through which you meet
challenges and obstacles
that help you become yourself.

a journey in which
a path is chosen
and sooner or later
you'll walk by it..

time's short.. a short path,
a short journey.
life is all but a passing dream
in which you float around
and live as mortal.

full of emotions;


alright... let's not do that again. [
Sunday.October 9th.2005]
[ mood | artistic ]

so, what's today, sunday?
alright.. so.. that would be.. thursday.
thursday i spent the night at my friend mike's house.. we were playing d&d for like ever.. and so i crashed there.. i was DM-ing the game.. it was fun.
i woke up.. started to write the story for the rest of the quest.. and we played some more..

fucking friday, was fucking cold as a motherfucker.
all i had on was a tee, shorts, and flip-flops.. it was fucking cold..
so i mike gave me his jeans to wear.. HAHAHA
we went to my friend char's house.. mad folk were there.. and all they could say was, "damn, saulina, you look mad butch!"

yesterday... was kinda random.. because i spend some time at home.. did some other stuff... went places... did nothing.. did something.. and came home..
nothing exciting enough to post about.. but i will say, that for the short hours i was awake for, i did much... but not really.

also.. sorry about the last post.. i never realized i set it to no comments.. that's retarded..
and i'm gonna post the scribbles i couldn't post last time... soo.....

the pictures are all pretty shitty.. but umm, i'm trying.. so hush your face.. and look pretty.

scribbly doosCollapse )


whoo.. what a week... [
Thursday.October 6th.2005]
[ mood | aggravated ]

let's see..

this week so far.. well.. it's been.. shitty.
true story..

in other news..

let's talk about art...

shitty pix taken with shitty cameraCollapse )


jesus mary.. [
Saturday.October 1st.2005]
[ mood | depressed ]

today was one of those days. remind me to write about it when i'm not drunk.


Thursday.September 29th.2005]
Your Japanese name should be


which means "sky".

You're a real
day-dreamer. You wish you could just fly away
from it all to explore the world... You love to
explore and travel, and if that's not possible
in reality, you'll just think and day-dream
about it. You're probably very curious.

Which Japanese name fits you best? [females, 9 results + absolutely stunning ANIME pictures!]
brought to you by Quizilla


blargh. [
Monday.September 26th.2005]
[ mood | unaccomplished ]

yeah... my lj looks like shit right now.. i'm kinda bitter.. people told me they couldn't see it in their browser... or that the pic was too large for them to view on their browser... so i'm re-doing it.. like i always do..

i've been thinking i'm going to do something to it.. but i'm not sure what.. there are many things i could do with it.. so i think i'm just gonna go for it...


last night.... [
Sunday.September 25th.2005]
[ mood | energetic ]

holy fucking gawd.
i was so fucking twisted last night..

let me tell a story......

it's was a fun ass night...Collapse )


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